Benign!

I feel like it has been forever since I have had a chance to blog lately, but I am so excited to report that it looks like my tumor is benign!

I was a little nervous about going to my u/s on Wednesday, but I also had a really peaceful feeling that everything was going to be okay. I had to hold back a few tears, but I kept going back to that peaceful feeling. The tech told me that she would do the u/s and then have the radiologist look at it. After he had a chance to look at it, he would come in and talk to me. I could definitely recognize the tumor as soon as it came up on the screen...it looked like a big black hole. The whole u/s only lasted a couple minutes, and then the tech left to go get the doctor.

Waiting for the doctor seemed to take forever! The tech eventually came back in and said that he had been caught up with another patient, which was why it was taking so long. As soon as the doctor did come in, I could tell that he had good news. He said that he could definitely tell that it was benign because of how smooth the edges looked. He did another quick u/s just to look at it again, and then said he is very confident that the tumor is one of two kinds: either a fibroadenoma or another type (I can't remember the name) that is common during pregnancy. Assuming it is one of these kinds, they are perfectly harmless and I don't need to have it removed. The doctor said there is a slight chance it could be another type of benign lump that has the potential to grow and become cancerous, so if that is the case, it will need to be removed. He recommended I have a biopsy done just to make sure we know what type it is, so I am going in on Thursday to have that done.

I called my mom after I left the appointment and told her what was going on and also to see if she could babysit J while I have my biopsy. She said that apparently my aunt and grandma both had benign lumps in their breasts, so maybe this just runs in the family?

It is such a relief to know what is going on and to know that things are going to be okay. Even if I do end up having to have the tumor removed, at least I know the odds are VERY good that it isn't cancerous and won't pose a problem to my health. I am so grateful that things are going to be okay and that I should be able to look forward to many more fun times and years with my family!!!

My Lady Lump

I went in for my regular check-up yesterday, and Jumper seems to still be doing great. Everything seems to be right on track. My OB started talking with me about my plans for delivery and when to come to the hospital if I experience any changes. It is crazy to think that we are getting to that point...12 weeks is not that far away!

At the end of the appointment, I told my doctor about the lump I found. She did a thorough exam and agreed that there is definitely a lump there. She congratulated me on finding it because she said it is somewhat deep in the tissue. She does not think that it is related to my pregnancy, but is most likely benign due to my not showing any other symptoms/changes or having a family history of cancer. She gave me an order to go get a breast u/s done and said that they will tell me right after the u/s if I need to have it biopsied. I was able to get my u/s scheduled and am going in on Wednesday afternoon.

I am really relieved that my doctor listened to me and is taking the lump seriously, but to be honest, I am also really freaking out. I have been doing a lot of online reading, which helps in some ways, but makes it worse in others. I read that 70-80% of lumps found during pregnancy are not cancerous, but that still means that 20-30% are! My mind instantly jumps to worst-case scenario and I start thinking about what being diagnosed with cancer would mean for the rest of my pregnancy. Would I have to deliver early in order to start treatment? How would that affect Jumper? Then I start to think about how cruel it would be for me to finally get my family, only to have me taken away from them. I can't stand the thought of not being there for these kids, and just the thought of it makes me start crying. It hurts so much to think that there is even a slight possibility that maybe I wouldn't be there to see them grow up, that they wouldn't remember me, and that there could be some other woman in my place. I know I am getting way ahead of myself and I need to just wait and see what they find on Wednesday, but it is so hard not to worry.

I have also debated whether I should tell my mom what is going on. Right now, DH is the only other person who knows about the lump, and I have been putting on a brave face for him. I hesitate to talk to my mom because she has been under so much stress as it is, and I hate to add one more thing. My sister is still giving her grief and stressing out the family, plus my mom's parents aren't doing well. They live out of state, so my mom has been considering planning an emergency trip to go see them and help make sure their affairs are in order. I am sure that my mom would want to know what is going on, but part of me wants to wait until at least after Wednesday so that she doesn't have to deal with the added stress.