Easter Weekend

We were able to get away for a little while over Easter weekend, and it was SO nice to enjoy some warmer temperatures and sunshine. My FIL and his wife invited us, DH's brother's family, and step-siblings to come down to southern Utah for the weekend. Having that many people around made things a little chaotic, but it was still good to get away.

Most of the activities that were planned were geared more towards the older kids, so on Saturday, we decided to take a driving tour of Zion's National Park. I was a little nervous about how J would do in the car because it ended up being quite a bit of driving, but he did great. He absolutely loved being outside and looking around.

Quick Update

First, thank you so much to everyone for your encouraging words. It helps a lot to remember that I am not alone and that there are others who are experiencing the same emotions as me!

Things are going well. The doctor's office contacted me yesterday to say that they think my numbers look great, and I scheduled an ultrasound for next Tuesday...so hopefully in one week, we will get to see a heartbeat! This morning, my doctor called me to say that he has been reviewing my chart and was excited to hear that I am pregnant. He said that if we see a heartbeat next week, that should hopefully be a good sign that the baby is growing and won't be affected by the chromosome insertion, although he can't say for certain. It meant a lot to me that my doctor would call me himself.

This past weekend was very nice and relaxing. We headed down to St. George to spend some time with family for the new year weekend. My FIL and his wife were there, and they absolutely doted over J. The weekend was very mellow and low-key, but I think it was just what I needed to take my mind off of things. Although I don't feel totally confident that things are going to work out, I definitely feel less paranoid.

Weekend Getaway and Drama

I feel like I kind of dropped off the face of the earth for the past few days, but it was for a good reason...DH and I were able to get away with some friends for a long weekend! One of our friends won a free stay at a home in St. George, UT and invited us and three other couples to come along. We went down Thursday after work and just got home tonight.

It was so nice to get away...honestly, it was just what I needed! We spent some time at the pool, went to the movies, ate tons of good food, played games, and spent an evening down in Vegas. It was such a carefree time...until...family drama.

DH and I both had family drama issues crop up on our sides of the family. Without going into too many details, I got a fb message from my sister that was sent to my other siblings and me. She basically said that she was disowning us because she thinks that we consider her to be the black sheep of the family. Her boyfriend/fiance also posted some pretty bad things about my family on fb, which were all untrue. I don't know what to do with my sister. She is bipolar, and she apparently hasn't been taking her meds, so it isn't like she is just purposefully trying to be this way. It is so hard to see my family hurt by how she acts, especially when I know it isn't really her.

Update and Labor Day Weekend

First, DH and I e-mailed M back on Thursday, and I haven't heard anything yet. However, I did use my work e-mail, so hopefully I will have a response waiting for me when I get to work tomorrow! I am not counting on it, but I would love it if it happened.

DH and I spent our Labor Day weekend camping with his extended family (as in like 40 or so people). I wasn't really too excited to go camping, but DH really wanted to go. I don't mind hanging out with his family, but I just wasn't looking forward to spending my weekend camping.

Anyway, I tried to go with a good attitude, but maybe it is a bad omen when the first thing that is said to you when you get out of the car is "I don't know if C told you, but I am 14 weeks pg". This was said to us by the wife of DH's cousin who was living with us until they got married this past March. I am guessing that this is a surprise pregnancy, because she told us "When you don't have sex until you get married, you end up having sex a lot after". Too bad it isn't that easy for everyone!

Because of this pg announcement, I was the only wife there who wasn't pg or didn't already have kids. It seemed like every conversation with the girls my age revolved around kids or being pg. I honestly felt like I didn't belong/fit in because I had nothing to contribute to the conversation. It wasn't anything that DH's family did wrong, but it was a constant reminder to me that I have failed at getting KU. Several people asked me about our adoption proceedings and it was nice to have them so genuinely interested, but at the same time, it would have been nice to be able to talk with people about things besides the adoption. I mean, there is more to me than that, right?

I kind of had a little breakdown last night in our tent, but lucky for me, I have become a pro at hiding my feelings when I am having a hard time. It sucks that this is the one thing I have learned to succeed at, but I didn't want to ruin DH's weekend. I did tell him a little bit about how I felt like I didn't fit in anywhere because of IF and not having kids, and he just made a joke of it by saying "Well, you seem to fit in with L". L is DH's six year old cousin.

So, I wouldn't say that I had a bad time camping, but it wasn't as fun as I was hoping for. I have always had such fun times with DH's family...I hate having to worry now that maybe I will feel out of place. Hopefully I was just having a rough day and I will be able to feel differently next time.

ICLW, Update, and Photos

Happy ICLW! I always look forward to this week every month. If you want to read my full story, click on the "Our Story" tab...in a nutshell, we just got our official approval for adoption a few weeks ago and are now waiting to be chosen by a birth mom. We are hoping the wait isn't too long, although I think that DH is worried that it will also come too fast!

Not much is new with us in the IF front. I had to redo the hard copies of our profile for our agency (I made them 12x12 and they apparently needed to be 8.5x11), so we can now be shown to birth parents that come into the office. I also decided to make a profile at http://www.hopingtoadopt.org/ since I had a voucher for two free months. Besides that, there really isn't much going on right now.

Last weekend, DH and I went up to Island Park, ID with his family for a mini-vacation. We all stayed in a cabin, road our 4-wheelers, and DH and I went up to Yellowstone. I thought that I would post some of my favorite pictures from the trip:

Scenery in Island Park

DH during a 4-wheeling break

More Island Park Scenery...we found this during one of our rides

DH and me in Yellowstone

Old Faithful

Waiting to see Old Faithful

While we were out riding, we found this old fenced in area - it looked like an abandoned cattle pen. When we got closer, we found a sign saying that it had been a train station in 1906-1907 to take people to Yellowstone. This picture was taken in front of the old ticket booth.