Back to Work

I am headed back to my first day of work since J was born tomorrow. I will admit that a (very small) part of me has missed my job, but I definitely am wishing that I didn't have to go back. The bright spot is that I will only be working 3 days a week, so at least I will be home a little bit with J. Everyone has warned me that I should fully expect to be in tears when I go in, so we'll see what happens.

My sister moved in with us last weekend, and she is going to be watching J while I am working. We are going to be paying her a little, plus she is getting free room and board. We figured that we would rather have family watch J than have to place him in daycare. My sister is wonderful with kids and has worked as a private duty nanny and as a daycare teacher for a while, so I trust her completely. I just wish that it was me that got to spend the time with him. What if he starts to confuse us? Or thinks that we are the same person? What if he becomes more attached to my sister than he does to me?

I also have the ultrasound looming ahead on Tuesday. Part of me feels very comfortable and confident that things are going to go well, and the other part of me is a nervous wreck. DH is still trying to figure out if he will be able to leave work to come with me. I asked my sister to watch J, since the RE's office doesn't allow you to bring your babies. She doesn't know why she is watching him, just that I have a doctor's appointment to go to. We figured that if everything goes well at the appointment, we will tell her what is going on, since she is living with us.

So, wish me luck as I return to work tomorrow and try to keep my hopes up for Tuesday!