Normal!

I got a letter in the mail yesterday stating that my integrated screening came back NORMAL!!! What a relief! Even though I wasn't super concerned that there would be any problems, there was still part of me that worried, especially because of my chromosome insertion. It is so good to know that Jumper is healthy!

We have our big anatomy u/s on April 12...I can't wait to see Jumper again in a few weeks!

Also - thanks for the comments from my post about my sister. I just really needed to vent to someone outside of the situation. It was a huge help to me to get those frustrations off of my chest. I still am frustrated with her behavior, but at least I feel like I could deal with it better now.

Never Been Here Before!

Well folks, I have officially made it past my "farthest along I've ever been" date. It feels good to have officially made it to 10 weeks, but I am still pretty nervous for next week's ultrasound. I don't feel like any of my pg symptoms have let up, but I am still nervous that I will get bad news at my appointment. This whole experience seems surreal and like it is too good to be true. Sometimes I have these thoughts of "Is there really a baby inside of me"? I hear that is pretty normal, and to be honest, I don't know when they will go away. Maybe once I start having a belly or feeling the baby move? I went to lunch with a good friend yesterday who is pg after IF. She is 18 weeks along, and she talked about how she still has doubts that things are turning out, so I guess this is just what IF does to you.

I was finally able to get in touch with my genetic counselor earlier this week. She said that based on my mom's history (she has the same chromosome issue as me), that she DOES NOT think that our baby is at increased risk for birth defects. That is what her partner had mentioned when we met with her last August, but it was still good to hear again. We decided to schedule one test (I don't remember what it is called), but it will give me an extra ultrasound, which I am definitely happy about.

In other news, we finally have a court date set to finalize J's adoption! It isn't until June 27, so we still have a while to wait, but I am so excited to have something on the calendar.

I Don't Know What to Think

I think that AF might be late, but I'm not positive, since I stopped tracking my ovulation. I've had some occasional cramping and light spotting, but no other symptoms to suggest she is on her way. I decided to POAS this morning and it was negative, except that there was a few pixels (maybe ten or so) that showed up in the second line. Not enough to call it a line or say it was positive, but enough for me to question. My guess is that I got pg, it was a bad egg, my period will start in a few days, but there was just enough hormone to show a trace of a second line. I am not really counting this as a potential loss, but part of me wonders if this is more proof of my chromosome condition. I know that nothing will come of this....maybe AF is just waiting to visit until tomorrow for a birthday surprise.

Our Visit with the Genetic Counselor

Our visit with the genetic counselor went really well today. She didn't really share any new information with me (thanks to my personal research), but it helped confirm what I had learned and I think it was helpful for DH.

The counselor said that we have three choices for having a biological pregnancy: continue trying on our own, do IVF, or do IVF with PGD. Our other choices for children are egg donation, embryo adoption, and traditional adoption.

She also explained more about how the chromosome insertion works and why it is so hard for us to have a healthy baby. She confirmed that couples in our situation probably conceive a baby many times without ever knowing it/getting a positive pregnancy test. We also learned that the chances of us getting a baby from IVF with PGD are about 40%. There is definitely a chance that we could do IVF and get ZERO embryos that survive. The good thing is that if we do manage to get KU, we can probably safely say that if we make it to the second trimester, we will *probably* make it to full term and have a healthy baby without any birth defects. I asked the counselor if there are ever any studies with IVF and PGD for people like me, and she said not really, but she would still check to see if there was anything out there that we would qualify for.

So, even though we didn't learn much, I am still glad that we went to this appointment. I think that it reaffirmed that we are both comfortable with our plan. Hopefully we will get a baby to adopt without too long of a wait, and if we get KU, then that would be great!

Cancelled Appointment

I got a call this morning from the RE's office saying that my appointment needed to be cancelled. Apparently the genetic counselor that we have been working with was pg and she went into labor earlier than expected. Her replacement isn't able to start taking appointments until next week, so our appointment is up in the air. I find it a little ironic that the person we are supposed to meet with because we can't have a baby isn't able to meet with us because she has gone into labor.

On the bright side, my sister and I have started planning a girls trip! We are planning on going to the New England area (we are leaning towards Boston) this October. If anyone has any advice on where to go/what to do/where to stay, I would love it!

A Slight Twist

Ever since we found out about our chromosome testing results back in the beginning of May, we have been waiting to find out if the PGD testing would even work for us. I started doing my own research, and between that and the fact that it was taking the lab so long to make a decision, I concluded that it probably just wasn't a good option.

Yesterday, I got an e-mail from our genetic counselor. She said that the testing would be very complicated, but doable. But, how doable is it for us to actually get healthy and viable embryos? After I received this e-mail, I seriously started stressing out - to the point that I was making myself sick (I thought I was going to throw-up while at the gym). What if we jumped the gun and made our decision too soon? What if we still could have biological kids this way? What if we tried IVF? What if???

Even if our insurance will pay for the testing (in some cases they will), DH and I unfortunately just don't have the funds to pay for IVF, especially if we don't have good odds of getting a baby out of it. We talked about it last night and agreed that even though we aren't changing our plans, we are still going to meet with the counselor to learn all that we can.