Wow, I can't believe I am already so close to 36 weeks! I still feel like time is going by really quickly, but I will admit that I am getting more ready for this little girl to make her appearance. I haven't been too nervous about her birth until just recently. Before, I always figured that it wasn't going to be a big deal because I already know what it is like to have a new baby, plus I still remember my OB rotations during school. Then, it hit me...this is going to be a lot different this time. This time, it is ME giving birth...this time, I will hopefully be breastfeeding, and that is a whole different ballgame compared to formula feeding. Needless to say, I am starting to feel a bit more nervous, especially since everyone loves to share their "worse case scenario" stories.
I went to my 36 week appointment today, and things are progressing really well. I am already 70% effaced and am almost dilated to a one. I guess that explains why I have been feeling a lot more pressure in my hips and tailbone lately. Plus, Jumper is head down, which is great news! The doctor said that at this point it is too soon to tell if I will make it to 40 weeks or end up going over, but I can only hope that things keep progressing as well as they have been.
It is kind of crazy to think that in *hopefully* less than a month, I am going to have two kids! Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine being in this situation a year ago. I know that life is going to be crazy busy, and it is definitely going to be interesting to care for a newborn while taking care of a 10 month old, but I know it will be worth it. I am just getting super excited to meet this little lady!
Showing posts with label Doctor Appointment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Doctor Appointment. Show all posts
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Friday, July 8, 2011
Too Good to be True? and Thoughts on IF
Lately I have noticed that some of the old, familiar thoughts of "this has got to be too good to be true" have been creeping up on me. This pregnancy has been going very smoothly (not that I am complaining!), and I keep waiting for something to "happen". I went in for a routine appointment yesterday, and my OB said that everything is looking perfect. My weight gain is right where it should be, blood pressure is great, baby's growth is right on track, there is just nothing to be concerned about. I still feel like I have a decent amount of energy, I am sleeping well...I really have nothing to complain about right now. I guess it is the infertile mindset in me that is starting to doubt that this is all really happening to me and that there is bound to be something that comes along and screws it up.
I came to the conclusion a while ago that I will always consider myself part of the IF community and have at least some part of the IF mindset, so I am sure that is just manifesting itself now as I start to approach the end of my pregnancy. Also, on Sunday we had a BBQ with DH's family, and there was some discussion about how there are so many new grandchildren coming into the family - in addition to me, two of my SIL are expecting. My BIL made the comment of "wow, I guess we have a really fertile family". DH's stepmom then turned and said to me "Yeah, I bet everyone thinks you are really fertile now, so that is great". I didn't say anything back, but the comments really bothered me. I am proud of the unique way that my family has been created and the journey that it took to get here. Granted, IF has been painful and is not something I would necessarily choose to go through, but I also consider dealing with it to be a badge that I have earned and not something to be ashamed of. Maybe I wouldn't have said that a year ago, but I just don't want to minimize what I have been through, what I have learned, and how important my family is to me.
I came to the conclusion a while ago that I will always consider myself part of the IF community and have at least some part of the IF mindset, so I am sure that is just manifesting itself now as I start to approach the end of my pregnancy. Also, on Sunday we had a BBQ with DH's family, and there was some discussion about how there are so many new grandchildren coming into the family - in addition to me, two of my SIL are expecting. My BIL made the comment of "wow, I guess we have a really fertile family". DH's stepmom then turned and said to me "Yeah, I bet everyone thinks you are really fertile now, so that is great". I didn't say anything back, but the comments really bothered me. I am proud of the unique way that my family has been created and the journey that it took to get here. Granted, IF has been painful and is not something I would necessarily choose to go through, but I also consider dealing with it to be a badge that I have earned and not something to be ashamed of. Maybe I wouldn't have said that a year ago, but I just don't want to minimize what I have been through, what I have learned, and how important my family is to me.
Friday, June 10, 2011
My Lady Lump
I went in for my regular check-up yesterday, and Jumper seems to still be doing great. Everything seems to be right on track. My OB started talking with me about my plans for delivery and when to come to the hospital if I experience any changes. It is crazy to think that we are getting to that point...12 weeks is not that far away!
At the end of the appointment, I told my doctor about the lump I found. She did a thorough exam and agreed that there is definitely a lump there. She congratulated me on finding it because she said it is somewhat deep in the tissue. She does not think that it is related to my pregnancy, but is most likely benign due to my not showing any other symptoms/changes or having a family history of cancer. She gave me an order to go get a breast u/s done and said that they will tell me right after the u/s if I need to have it biopsied. I was able to get my u/s scheduled and am going in on Wednesday afternoon.
I am really relieved that my doctor listened to me and is taking the lump seriously, but to be honest, I am also really freaking out. I have been doing a lot of online reading, which helps in some ways, but makes it worse in others. I read that 70-80% of lumps found during pregnancy are not cancerous, but that still means that 20-30% are! My mind instantly jumps to worst-case scenario and I start thinking about what being diagnosed with cancer would mean for the rest of my pregnancy. Would I have to deliver early in order to start treatment? How would that affect Jumper? Then I start to think about how cruel it would be for me to finally get my family, only to have me taken away from them. I can't stand the thought of not being there for these kids, and just the thought of it makes me start crying. It hurts so much to think that there is even a slight possibility that maybe I wouldn't be there to see them grow up, that they wouldn't remember me, and that there could be some other woman in my place. I know I am getting way ahead of myself and I need to just wait and see what they find on Wednesday, but it is so hard not to worry.
I have also debated whether I should tell my mom what is going on. Right now, DH is the only other person who knows about the lump, and I have been putting on a brave face for him. I hesitate to talk to my mom because she has been under so much stress as it is, and I hate to add one more thing. My sister is still giving her grief and stressing out the family, plus my mom's parents aren't doing well. They live out of state, so my mom has been considering planning an emergency trip to go see them and help make sure their affairs are in order. I am sure that my mom would want to know what is going on, but part of me wants to wait until at least after Wednesday so that she doesn't have to deal with the added stress.
At the end of the appointment, I told my doctor about the lump I found. She did a thorough exam and agreed that there is definitely a lump there. She congratulated me on finding it because she said it is somewhat deep in the tissue. She does not think that it is related to my pregnancy, but is most likely benign due to my not showing any other symptoms/changes or having a family history of cancer. She gave me an order to go get a breast u/s done and said that they will tell me right after the u/s if I need to have it biopsied. I was able to get my u/s scheduled and am going in on Wednesday afternoon.
I am really relieved that my doctor listened to me and is taking the lump seriously, but to be honest, I am also really freaking out. I have been doing a lot of online reading, which helps in some ways, but makes it worse in others. I read that 70-80% of lumps found during pregnancy are not cancerous, but that still means that 20-30% are! My mind instantly jumps to worst-case scenario and I start thinking about what being diagnosed with cancer would mean for the rest of my pregnancy. Would I have to deliver early in order to start treatment? How would that affect Jumper? Then I start to think about how cruel it would be for me to finally get my family, only to have me taken away from them. I can't stand the thought of not being there for these kids, and just the thought of it makes me start crying. It hurts so much to think that there is even a slight possibility that maybe I wouldn't be there to see them grow up, that they wouldn't remember me, and that there could be some other woman in my place. I know I am getting way ahead of myself and I need to just wait and see what they find on Wednesday, but it is so hard not to worry.
I have also debated whether I should tell my mom what is going on. Right now, DH is the only other person who knows about the lump, and I have been putting on a brave face for him. I hesitate to talk to my mom because she has been under so much stress as it is, and I hate to add one more thing. My sister is still giving her grief and stressing out the family, plus my mom's parents aren't doing well. They live out of state, so my mom has been considering planning an emergency trip to go see them and help make sure their affairs are in order. I am sure that my mom would want to know what is going on, but part of me wants to wait until at least after Wednesday so that she doesn't have to deal with the added stress.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
4 Month Check-Up
I took J in for his 4 month check-up with the pediatrician yesterday, and everything went really well! He is still definitely tall and skinny. He is in the 75th percentile for his height, but only the 11th for his weight. The doctor said he isn't concerned about his weight because he has grown since his last check-up, but he did ask us if we knew anything about J's biological father. His thoughts right now is that J probably just inherited being tall and thin. We don't know anything about J's biological father. I have been thinking that I would ask K about it, but I get a little nervous since she hasn't shared anything at all about him with us. But I figured if I present it as the doctor wanting to know, it shouldn't be too bad.
Another good thing from the appointment is that the pediatrician said we could skip rice cereal and go straight to baby food. Apparently there are new guidelines from the American Academy of Pediatrics that discourage rice cereal because it has no nutritional value. I was so relieved since J has hated rice cereal, but has really liked baby food. Hopefully eating baby food more will help him gain some weight!
Besides that, not much is new with me. I have enjoyed having my news be public, but I have heard a lot of "that always happens when you adopt" or "and you thought you could never get pregnant" comments from people that I talk to. I have started just saying things like "That is what I hear" or "That's what people tell me" rather than going into all the details. I know they are just excited, but it still gets old and frustrating.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
OB Appointment
I had another OB appointment today, and things went great! I will admit it was a little strange to be going in and not having an u/s and being able to see Jumper, but I guess that it just a sign that things are progressing well. Like I said, the appointment went well. I was able to hear Jumper's heartbeat, and it was hovering right around 160 bpm. There was also another sound that we could hear through the doppler, and my OB said that is the sound of the baby moving. She said that based on the heartbeat, movement, and my measurements, it looks like things are right on track and everything looks great! One thing that did surprise me, though, is that I have apparently lost a pound since my last appointment...which means I am probably down about 4-5 pounds or so since getting pg. She didn't seem concerned about it yet, especially since I am just starting to get my appetite back within the past few weeks. I definitely don't feel like I have lost weight...some days I feel like I am running out of normal clothes to wear!
After my appointment, I decided to make the pregnancy news public via fb and our family blog. It seems like I am pretty much the only one out of my immediate family and DH who has been holding the news back. So far, I am pleasantly surprised to report that I haven't received any "that's what happens when you adopt" comments yet. It feels good to be 'out of the closet' and freely sharing the news!
After my appointment, I decided to make the pregnancy news public via fb and our family blog. It seems like I am pretty much the only one out of my immediate family and DH who has been holding the news back. So far, I am pleasantly surprised to report that I haven't received any "that's what happens when you adopt" comments yet. It feels good to be 'out of the closet' and freely sharing the news!
Friday, February 11, 2011
First Prenatal Appointment and Thoughts
I had my first OB appointment yesterday afternoon...things got off to a rocky start, but everything turned out okay.
I was SO nervous for the appointment. I kept imagining how things were last time I went in for a prenatal appointment and there was no heartbeat. What made things worse was that DH found out a couple days ago that he wouldn't be able to come with me after all. He had a meeting with his boss that he couldn't get out of, so I was so nervous that I would have to go through a worse-case scenario by myself.
I had scheduled the first appointment after lunch so that my doctor would hopefully be on time and I could get in and out pretty quickly. When I was going to check in, the receptionist told me that my doctor was delivering a baby, so they would still have me come back and get checked in. Once I was back in the office, the nurse told me that the doctor was actually delivering TWO babies and that I had a couple options: I could either reschedule, or I could wait...but the wait would be at least 60-90 minutes. I told the nurse that I was pretty nervous because of my history, so I would rather just wait and get the appointment over with. About this same time, DH called me and said that his meeting was over, so there was a chance that he might be able to get to my appointment after all.
The staff settled me in one of the exam rooms and I waited for almost two hours. Fortunately, I had brought a book with me, so I was able to keep entertained! :) DH was able to make it to the office, and about 15 minutes later, the doctor arrived. She started doing the u/s, and at first I was kind of nervous because she said "There is definitely something there, but right now it just is shadowing". WTF? After a few adjustments, she said that she could see the heartbeat! We were able to see our baby, and he/she was super active. I think the baby has a new nickname, because it was seriously jumping up and down like crazy. So, for the sake of this blog, I think I will call the baby Jumper. Jumper was measuring at 10w6d, which is perfect according to my dates, but a couple of days behind where the last u/s measured. I am assuming that this is pretty normal, though...there is bound to be a little discrepancy when two different people are measuring and they are using two different pieces of equipment, right?
The rest of the appointment was pretty uneventful. We went over my history and my doctor gave me a big hug before we left. So now, I have the u/s for my integrated screening next Thursday and then my next OB appointment is in 4 weeks.
It is crazy to think that I am at this point...it still seems so surreal. Our parents are getting anxious to be able to tell people, but I just am not ready yet. Maybe after next week's u/s, but I don't know. Part of me is afraid that as soon as we go public, something bad will happen. Part of me hesitates because I am not looking forward to all of the "I knew you would get pg after you adopted" comments. I know that people mean well when they say that, but that is NOT the reason we adopted J. I would not ever change having J in my family, and adoption does not cause pregnancy. I have already had a few unintentionally hurtful comments, and I know that is a very small price to pay for having this baby, but I am still not looking forward to the others that are bound to come my way.
I was SO nervous for the appointment. I kept imagining how things were last time I went in for a prenatal appointment and there was no heartbeat. What made things worse was that DH found out a couple days ago that he wouldn't be able to come with me after all. He had a meeting with his boss that he couldn't get out of, so I was so nervous that I would have to go through a worse-case scenario by myself.
I had scheduled the first appointment after lunch so that my doctor would hopefully be on time and I could get in and out pretty quickly. When I was going to check in, the receptionist told me that my doctor was delivering a baby, so they would still have me come back and get checked in. Once I was back in the office, the nurse told me that the doctor was actually delivering TWO babies and that I had a couple options: I could either reschedule, or I could wait...but the wait would be at least 60-90 minutes. I told the nurse that I was pretty nervous because of my history, so I would rather just wait and get the appointment over with. About this same time, DH called me and said that his meeting was over, so there was a chance that he might be able to get to my appointment after all.
The staff settled me in one of the exam rooms and I waited for almost two hours. Fortunately, I had brought a book with me, so I was able to keep entertained! :) DH was able to make it to the office, and about 15 minutes later, the doctor arrived. She started doing the u/s, and at first I was kind of nervous because she said "There is definitely something there, but right now it just is shadowing". WTF? After a few adjustments, she said that she could see the heartbeat! We were able to see our baby, and he/she was super active. I think the baby has a new nickname, because it was seriously jumping up and down like crazy. So, for the sake of this blog, I think I will call the baby Jumper. Jumper was measuring at 10w6d, which is perfect according to my dates, but a couple of days behind where the last u/s measured. I am assuming that this is pretty normal, though...there is bound to be a little discrepancy when two different people are measuring and they are using two different pieces of equipment, right?
The rest of the appointment was pretty uneventful. We went over my history and my doctor gave me a big hug before we left. So now, I have the u/s for my integrated screening next Thursday and then my next OB appointment is in 4 weeks.
It is crazy to think that I am at this point...it still seems so surreal. Our parents are getting anxious to be able to tell people, but I just am not ready yet. Maybe after next week's u/s, but I don't know. Part of me is afraid that as soon as we go public, something bad will happen. Part of me hesitates because I am not looking forward to all of the "I knew you would get pg after you adopted" comments. I know that people mean well when they say that, but that is NOT the reason we adopted J. I would not ever change having J in my family, and adoption does not cause pregnancy. I have already had a few unintentionally hurtful comments, and I know that is a very small price to pay for having this baby, but I am still not looking forward to the others that are bound to come my way.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
We Saw the Heartbeat!
Today's appointment went perfect! I was SO nervous - I had pretty much convinced myself that things weren't going to work out. And then the more I dwelled on it, the more I kept imagining that I was cramping and having less pregnancy symptoms. So when I was waiting at the office, I was so nervous I seriously thought that I was going to be sick. I grabbed some kleenex while we were waiting for the doctor to come in and just prepared for getting bad news.
Once the doctor started the ultrasound, he could immediately see the baby. He showed us the heartbeat and it was so amazing to see it flickering on the screen and then to hear it beating. He said that the ultrasound looked perfect! The baby is measuring at 6 weeks, 6 days, which is a little ahead of what I thought I was at. It was seriously the most amazing thing to see. The only other time that I was far along enough to have an ultrasound, we only had bad news - I thought I was ten weeks, but the baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks, 3 days.
Our doctor recommended that we get back in touch with the genetic counselor again. She will review some testing options to see if there is any additional tests we want to do to make sure there are no birth defects. Even though they think that the problem with my chromosomes would lead to miscarriage over a birth defect, we are still at an increased risk.
I feel SO relieved that everything went okay. I know that we aren't out of the woods yet, but it feels good to be this far. DH really wants to tell our families, and I guess I am okay with it. We have told a few close friends, and we told my sister that is living with us. I guess at this point, we would want them to know if things changed and we had a miscarriage, so maybe we might as well tell them now? We'll see...
Once the doctor started the ultrasound, he could immediately see the baby. He showed us the heartbeat and it was so amazing to see it flickering on the screen and then to hear it beating. He said that the ultrasound looked perfect! The baby is measuring at 6 weeks, 6 days, which is a little ahead of what I thought I was at. It was seriously the most amazing thing to see. The only other time that I was far along enough to have an ultrasound, we only had bad news - I thought I was ten weeks, but the baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks, 3 days.
Our doctor recommended that we get back in touch with the genetic counselor again. She will review some testing options to see if there is any additional tests we want to do to make sure there are no birth defects. Even though they think that the problem with my chromosomes would lead to miscarriage over a birth defect, we are still at an increased risk.
I feel SO relieved that everything went okay. I know that we aren't out of the woods yet, but it feels good to be this far. DH really wants to tell our families, and I guess I am okay with it. We have told a few close friends, and we told my sister that is living with us. I guess at this point, we would want them to know if things changed and we had a miscarriage, so maybe we might as well tell them now? We'll see...
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Catching Up
I feel like I have been SO far out of the blogging loop during the past week or so. Work has been crazy busy, so I haven't had time to blog during lunch, and when I get home, the last thing I want to do is sit in front of a computer screen.
Anyway, I guess I don't have too much to say, other than just a few mini updates from my last post. I decided to give my OB another try. I called to schedule an appointment, and she is booked out until APRIL! I made an appointment, but I guess that gives me plenty of time to change my mind between now and then. As for the shower, if it gets brought up again, I think that I am going to say that I would like to hold off, at least for now. I am slowly starting to put together a "grab and go" bag of sorts, just in case we got a call with no notice, but I just don't want to do the shower yet. I figure that the bag would hopefully be enough in the event that we had little/no notice. Today, I bought the first thing for my bag...the diaper bag itself! I went to this baby store by my house that was having a big sale, and I found a Bumble bag that I loved for 40% off.
Lately, I have been having one of those times when I feel like there are babies EVERYWHERE...and not just pg girls and new babies, but stories about people adopting. I think that part of it is because I have started being a lot more open with people besides family and friends about our adoption plans, so that inevitably opens the door for people to say things like "Oh, this person I know just adopted a baby last week". On one hand it is good, because obviously those people desperately want a baby of their own and it means that adoptions are happening, but I want it to be my profile that is the one being looked at and chosen.
Anyway, that is all I have for now. Not much of anything too interesting, but I suppose that is okay. Hopefully tomorrow I will have a chance to get caught up on everyone else's blogs.
Anyway, I guess I don't have too much to say, other than just a few mini updates from my last post. I decided to give my OB another try. I called to schedule an appointment, and she is booked out until APRIL! I made an appointment, but I guess that gives me plenty of time to change my mind between now and then. As for the shower, if it gets brought up again, I think that I am going to say that I would like to hold off, at least for now. I am slowly starting to put together a "grab and go" bag of sorts, just in case we got a call with no notice, but I just don't want to do the shower yet. I figure that the bag would hopefully be enough in the event that we had little/no notice. Today, I bought the first thing for my bag...the diaper bag itself! I went to this baby store by my house that was having a big sale, and I found a Bumble bag that I loved for 40% off.
Lately, I have been having one of those times when I feel like there are babies EVERYWHERE...and not just pg girls and new babies, but stories about people adopting. I think that part of it is because I have started being a lot more open with people besides family and friends about our adoption plans, so that inevitably opens the door for people to say things like "Oh, this person I know just adopted a baby last week". On one hand it is good, because obviously those people desperately want a baby of their own and it means that adoptions are happening, but I want it to be my profile that is the one being looked at and chosen.
Anyway, that is all I have for now. Not much of anything too interesting, but I suppose that is okay. Hopefully tomorrow I will have a chance to get caught up on everyone else's blogs.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Decisions, Decisions
I feel like there are quite a few decisions to make right now...none of them are really big decisions. You know, the kind where you are at a crossroads and the decision is going to have a huge impact on your life. But, still decisions to make anyway.
The first, and maybe the easiest, is regarding a baby shower. DH's mom and aunt have approached me about giving me a baby shower. I think that DH's mom would prefer to do it sooner than later, "just in case". They said that it could be gender neutral, since I obviously have no clue whether we will adopt a boy or a girl. I am kind of torn on the shower. Of course I want to have a baby shower one day, but it kind of seems awkward to do one now.
My concerns about doing a shower this early are:
1. Who knows how long it will be before we get a baby. What if we have a shower now, and then we don't get a baby for a couple of years, and I want different things?
2. Will people even want to come to a shower for me, since I am not pg and have not been matched?
3. I really am not this superstitious, but what if I jinx myself by doing this?
On the other hand, it might be nice to have an early shower, just in case we really do get matched with someone and don't have a long time to prepare.
If anyone is reading this has had past experience or suggestions, I would LOVE to hear what you have to say!
My next decision is about our adoption profile. Right now, I have an online profile listed with our agency and another one listed with hopingtoadopt.org. I chose to put our profile with Hoping to Adopt because I had a free two month trial. Well, the two month trial is coming to an end, and I haven't really seen much traffic. According to the profile statistics, we have had plenty of people view the profile, but nobody has contacted us from it. The monthly fee for listing our profile is only around $30 (I think), so it isn't like it is a huge expense, but why pay $30 if it isn't doing any good? I have a friend who's family member got a ton of traffic from Parent Profiles, but that website is around $90/month. I just don't know if it is worth it to list our profile with so many different places. I have thought about cancelling the profile with Hoping to Adopt and trying Parent Profiles for a couple months, but I just don't know.
Last, I have been considering switching to a different OB/GYN. When I went for my annual exam last January, I did not have a good experience. I have always liked her before, but that appointment left a sour taste in my mouth. I really didn't like that she didn't listen to me and brushed my concerns aside. What if I stick with her, have concerns in the future, and then have the same problems. On the other hand, I have always liked her before then, so maybe it was just a fluke...especially since she had been running late. I just don't know...but if I am going to stick with her, I need to schedule my annual now. I am leaning towards making another appointment to see her for my annual exam, and then depending on how things go, I will decide whether or not to stay with her in the future.
The first, and maybe the easiest, is regarding a baby shower. DH's mom and aunt have approached me about giving me a baby shower. I think that DH's mom would prefer to do it sooner than later, "just in case". They said that it could be gender neutral, since I obviously have no clue whether we will adopt a boy or a girl. I am kind of torn on the shower. Of course I want to have a baby shower one day, but it kind of seems awkward to do one now.
My concerns about doing a shower this early are:
1. Who knows how long it will be before we get a baby. What if we have a shower now, and then we don't get a baby for a couple of years, and I want different things?
2. Will people even want to come to a shower for me, since I am not pg and have not been matched?
3. I really am not this superstitious, but what if I jinx myself by doing this?
On the other hand, it might be nice to have an early shower, just in case we really do get matched with someone and don't have a long time to prepare.
If anyone is reading this has had past experience or suggestions, I would LOVE to hear what you have to say!
My next decision is about our adoption profile. Right now, I have an online profile listed with our agency and another one listed with hopingtoadopt.org. I chose to put our profile with Hoping to Adopt because I had a free two month trial. Well, the two month trial is coming to an end, and I haven't really seen much traffic. According to the profile statistics, we have had plenty of people view the profile, but nobody has contacted us from it. The monthly fee for listing our profile is only around $30 (I think), so it isn't like it is a huge expense, but why pay $30 if it isn't doing any good? I have a friend who's family member got a ton of traffic from Parent Profiles, but that website is around $90/month. I just don't know if it is worth it to list our profile with so many different places. I have thought about cancelling the profile with Hoping to Adopt and trying Parent Profiles for a couple months, but I just don't know.
Last, I have been considering switching to a different OB/GYN. When I went for my annual exam last January, I did not have a good experience. I have always liked her before, but that appointment left a sour taste in my mouth. I really didn't like that she didn't listen to me and brushed my concerns aside. What if I stick with her, have concerns in the future, and then have the same problems. On the other hand, I have always liked her before then, so maybe it was just a fluke...especially since she had been running late. I just don't know...but if I am going to stick with her, I need to schedule my annual now. I am leaning towards making another appointment to see her for my annual exam, and then depending on how things go, I will decide whether or not to stay with her in the future.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Our Visit with the Genetic Counselor
Our visit with the genetic counselor went really well today. She didn't really share any new information with me (thanks to my personal research), but it helped confirm what I had learned and I think it was helpful for DH.
The counselor said that we have three choices for having a biological pregnancy: continue trying on our own, do IVF, or do IVF with PGD. Our other choices for children are egg donation, embryo adoption, and traditional adoption.
She also explained more about how the chromosome insertion works and why it is so hard for us to have a healthy baby. She confirmed that couples in our situation probably conceive a baby many times without ever knowing it/getting a positive pregnancy test. We also learned that the chances of us getting a baby from IVF with PGD are about 40%. There is definitely a chance that we could do IVF and get ZERO embryos that survive. The good thing is that if we do manage to get KU, we can probably safely say that if we make it to the second trimester, we will *probably* make it to full term and have a healthy baby without any birth defects. I asked the counselor if there are ever any studies with IVF and PGD for people like me, and she said not really, but she would still check to see if there was anything out there that we would qualify for.
So, even though we didn't learn much, I am still glad that we went to this appointment. I think that it reaffirmed that we are both comfortable with our plan. Hopefully we will get a baby to adopt without too long of a wait, and if we get KU, then that would be great!
The counselor said that we have three choices for having a biological pregnancy: continue trying on our own, do IVF, or do IVF with PGD. Our other choices for children are egg donation, embryo adoption, and traditional adoption.
She also explained more about how the chromosome insertion works and why it is so hard for us to have a healthy baby. She confirmed that couples in our situation probably conceive a baby many times without ever knowing it/getting a positive pregnancy test. We also learned that the chances of us getting a baby from IVF with PGD are about 40%. There is definitely a chance that we could do IVF and get ZERO embryos that survive. The good thing is that if we do manage to get KU, we can probably safely say that if we make it to the second trimester, we will *probably* make it to full term and have a healthy baby without any birth defects. I asked the counselor if there are ever any studies with IVF and PGD for people like me, and she said not really, but she would still check to see if there was anything out there that we would qualify for.
So, even though we didn't learn much, I am still glad that we went to this appointment. I think that it reaffirmed that we are both comfortable with our plan. Hopefully we will get a baby to adopt without too long of a wait, and if we get KU, then that would be great!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Cancelled Appointment
I got a call this morning from the RE's office saying that my appointment needed to be cancelled. Apparently the genetic counselor that we have been working with was pg and she went into labor earlier than expected. Her replacement isn't able to start taking appointments until next week, so our appointment is up in the air. I find it a little ironic that the person we are supposed to meet with because we can't have a baby isn't able to meet with us because she has gone into labor.
On the bright side, my sister and I have started planning a girls trip! We are planning on going to the New England area (we are leaning towards Boston) this October. If anyone has any advice on where to go/what to do/where to stay, I would love it!
On the bright side, my sister and I have started planning a girls trip! We are planning on going to the New England area (we are leaning towards Boston) this October. If anyone has any advice on where to go/what to do/where to stay, I would love it!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Confessions
I broke out the good ol' CBEFM last night. Today is CD 5, which means it is the last day I could start using it this cycle. I haven't used it for a few months, and for some crazy reason I decided to give it a go again. I figured that since I have the strips, I might as well use them rather then just let them sit there. It can't hurt, right? I am still holding to my resolve of not temping, so hopefully using the CBEFM on its own this cycle won't cause me too much anxiety.
Tomorrow, DH and I are going in for our appointment with the genetic counselor. We also invited my mom to come with us since she has the same intrachromosomal insertion as I do and so obviously my siblings are all at risk for having it. I think that the appointment should be interesting, but I seriously doubt that it will change any of our plans. DH and I both figure that we should just get as much knowledge and understanding about our situation as possible. I have a feeling that they will try and talk us into doing IVF, but I just can't see spending that much money on something that has a poor chance of working.
With my "crisis" - thanks for all of the suggestions! I have decided that I am bored but also burned out at the same time. I know that doesn't make a lot of sense. DH and I have been talking, and I think that we will plan a little weekend getaway up to Park City. Not the most exciting destination, but still a change of scenery. I also want to try and plan a girls trip with my sister, so we'll see if I can pull that off, too.
Tomorrow, DH and I are going in for our appointment with the genetic counselor. We also invited my mom to come with us since she has the same intrachromosomal insertion as I do and so obviously my siblings are all at risk for having it. I think that the appointment should be interesting, but I seriously doubt that it will change any of our plans. DH and I both figure that we should just get as much knowledge and understanding about our situation as possible. I have a feeling that they will try and talk us into doing IVF, but I just can't see spending that much money on something that has a poor chance of working.
With my "crisis" - thanks for all of the suggestions! I have decided that I am bored but also burned out at the same time. I know that doesn't make a lot of sense. DH and I have been talking, and I think that we will plan a little weekend getaway up to Park City. Not the most exciting destination, but still a change of scenery. I also want to try and plan a girls trip with my sister, so we'll see if I can pull that off, too.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Back from the RE
My appointment this morning went really well, but I am feeling I bit overwhelmed. Dr. G was great! He listened to all of our concerns and answered all of our questions without making us feel rushed. He seemed to be very thorough and validated what I was feeling, which is exactly what I needed.
After looking at my history, Dr. G is concerned that I may be a carrier of a chromosomal balance translocation. My mom was diagnosed with this when she was trying to have kids (she had 8 m/c, but ended up with 5 kids). If that is the case, I would likely have a 2/3 chance of having a m/c each time I get pg. This problem causes increased m/c rates and infertility because there is an increased chance that my eggs have inherited this trait. If they inherit the trait, they would likely not survive. I guess I would only have a healthy and successful pregnancy if the egg was either a carrier or not affected at all. He has recommended that I undergo some chromosomal karotyping testing to determine if this is the situation. If it is the case, he recommended that we have IVF. However, each of our embryos would have to have their own chromosomal testing done to make sure that they didn’t implant any that were already prone to m/c. This means that our IVF would go from about $12,000 to $17,000!!! Ouch!!!
If I don’t have this problem, Dr. G will start me on Clomid. He looked at my charts and said that while my cycles are okay, they aren’t great. So, maybe all I would need is some increased egg production and a little bit more regular cycles. I am keeping my fingers crossed that this is all we need! I was really glad that he looked at my charts. He actually thinks that we might have conceived at least once since the m/c, but the pg didn’t last long enough for me to get a BFP from POAS. He is actually having me go in today for some b/w to see if I am pg right now.
So, I am feeling a little overwhelmed at the thought of maybe having to jump straight to IVF. I never would have thought I would be in this situation. I want to be a mom so badly, but I don’t know how we could afford $17,000 right now for just a chance at a baby. It makes me wonder if at that point, we would consider adoption. I know that I am getting way ahead of myself. I just need to get the karotyping done and go from there. But, before I can even do that, I need to see if the insurance will pay for it. Apparently it is about a $2000 test. After I have the blood work drawn, it will take two or three weeks to get the results back.
For the meanwhile, I guess we are just holding tight and hoping for the best. I am hoping that my labs come back negative for this chromosome problem. I have a follow-up appointment set for a month, so we’ll keep our fingers crossed and see what happens!
After looking at my history, Dr. G is concerned that I may be a carrier of a chromosomal balance translocation. My mom was diagnosed with this when she was trying to have kids (she had 8 m/c, but ended up with 5 kids). If that is the case, I would likely have a 2/3 chance of having a m/c each time I get pg. This problem causes increased m/c rates and infertility because there is an increased chance that my eggs have inherited this trait. If they inherit the trait, they would likely not survive. I guess I would only have a healthy and successful pregnancy if the egg was either a carrier or not affected at all. He has recommended that I undergo some chromosomal karotyping testing to determine if this is the situation. If it is the case, he recommended that we have IVF. However, each of our embryos would have to have their own chromosomal testing done to make sure that they didn’t implant any that were already prone to m/c. This means that our IVF would go from about $12,000 to $17,000!!! Ouch!!!
If I don’t have this problem, Dr. G will start me on Clomid. He looked at my charts and said that while my cycles are okay, they aren’t great. So, maybe all I would need is some increased egg production and a little bit more regular cycles. I am keeping my fingers crossed that this is all we need! I was really glad that he looked at my charts. He actually thinks that we might have conceived at least once since the m/c, but the pg didn’t last long enough for me to get a BFP from POAS. He is actually having me go in today for some b/w to see if I am pg right now.
So, I am feeling a little overwhelmed at the thought of maybe having to jump straight to IVF. I never would have thought I would be in this situation. I want to be a mom so badly, but I don’t know how we could afford $17,000 right now for just a chance at a baby. It makes me wonder if at that point, we would consider adoption. I know that I am getting way ahead of myself. I just need to get the karotyping done and go from there. But, before I can even do that, I need to see if the insurance will pay for it. Apparently it is about a $2000 test. After I have the blood work drawn, it will take two or three weeks to get the results back.
For the meanwhile, I guess we are just holding tight and hoping for the best. I am hoping that my labs come back negative for this chromosome problem. I have a follow-up appointment set for a month, so we’ll keep our fingers crossed and see what happens!
Friday, February 12, 2010
Let's Get Physical
This morning I went in for a physical with our normal family doctor. I figured that it couldn't hurt to make sure that from her perspective, I am healthy and well.
The appointment was pretty uneventful. She gave me plenty of time to ask any questions or express any concerns that I have. The pelvic pain that I have experienced for the last few cycles has been MIA this month, but she still wanted to know about it. She said that if it comes back, she wants to hear from me so that we can do an u/s. Her thought is that I probably had some large cyst(s) on my ovaries that hung around for a few months. I decided not to tell her that it has been over a year since the m/c and we have had no luck TTC. I figured that since I am already have an appointment with the RE, it wouldn't make much difference. At the end of the appointment, she ordered some basic blood work to make sure everything seems okay.
Although nothing too exciting happened, I feel like my check-up went really well. I am glad that she really took the time to listen to me and validated the concern I have had with my pelvic pain.
Speaking of pelvic pain, like I said it hasn't really shown up this cycle. I have maybe had a little twinge here or there, but nothing too exciting. My cervical mucous has also been more regular. Hopefully it is a good thing that it is more back to normal, but it just makes me a little nervous that one cycle can vary so much from the previous one.
The appointment was pretty uneventful. She gave me plenty of time to ask any questions or express any concerns that I have. The pelvic pain that I have experienced for the last few cycles has been MIA this month, but she still wanted to know about it. She said that if it comes back, she wants to hear from me so that we can do an u/s. Her thought is that I probably had some large cyst(s) on my ovaries that hung around for a few months. I decided not to tell her that it has been over a year since the m/c and we have had no luck TTC. I figured that since I am already have an appointment with the RE, it wouldn't make much difference. At the end of the appointment, she ordered some basic blood work to make sure everything seems okay.
Although nothing too exciting happened, I feel like my check-up went really well. I am glad that she really took the time to listen to me and validated the concern I have had with my pelvic pain.
Speaking of pelvic pain, like I said it hasn't really shown up this cycle. I have maybe had a little twinge here or there, but nothing too exciting. My cervical mucous has also been more regular. Hopefully it is a good thing that it is more back to normal, but it just makes me a little nervous that one cycle can vary so much from the previous one.
Monday, January 25, 2010
I Made Up My Mind
After a lot of contemplation and going back and forth, I made up my mind to go see the RE. I made an appointment to see Dr. G (who my friend recommended) on March 3. I feel really good about this and I think that I made the right decision. I am also going in to see my normal family doctor for a physical on February 12. I think that between the two appointments, I will be able to get some answers and keep heading in the right direction.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Second Thoughts
First, thank you to everyone who has visited my blog from ICLW week! This has been the first time I participated, and I have really enjoyed having you visit my blog and getting to know more of you.
Anyway, I am having second thoughts about whether it is time to see an RE. When I first started thinking about going to one, I felt excited by it because it meant I was being proactive and doing all that I can to get KU. Then, I started thinking about it more and I did a little bit of research, and for some reason, it just didn't feel right. Yesterday, I got an e-mail back from a friend who I had asked about her RE experiences. She highly recommended the doctor that she had seen and recommended just going to an RE rather than relying on the OB/GYN. So, that made me start leaning back to making an appointment. I am not sure if it started to feel okay again because she was able to recommend someone so highly, but I feel like I am being torn between the two sides. I can't think of any real reason to NOT go, other than it didn't feel like the right decision before I got her e-mail. I know that I don't have to decide right away, but I hate feeling like I am in limbo. I talked to DH about it, and he said that based on what my friend says, we should see the RE, but he will respect my decision either way.
On a side note, FF says that today is 3 DPO. I think that it probably about right, but I still feel like I have some O pain, which I just don't get. Why does it stick around for so long?
Anyway, I am having second thoughts about whether it is time to see an RE. When I first started thinking about going to one, I felt excited by it because it meant I was being proactive and doing all that I can to get KU. Then, I started thinking about it more and I did a little bit of research, and for some reason, it just didn't feel right. Yesterday, I got an e-mail back from a friend who I had asked about her RE experiences. She highly recommended the doctor that she had seen and recommended just going to an RE rather than relying on the OB/GYN. So, that made me start leaning back to making an appointment. I am not sure if it started to feel okay again because she was able to recommend someone so highly, but I feel like I am being torn between the two sides. I can't think of any real reason to NOT go, other than it didn't feel like the right decision before I got her e-mail. I know that I don't have to decide right away, but I hate feeling like I am in limbo. I talked to DH about it, and he said that based on what my friend says, we should see the RE, but he will respect my decision either way.
On a side note, FF says that today is 3 DPO. I think that it probably about right, but I still feel like I have some O pain, which I just don't get. Why does it stick around for so long?
Thursday, January 21, 2010
The Game Plan
I feel like I have done a lot of thinking in the 24 hours since my appointment. DH and I talked a lot, and I also talked to my mom and another friend struggling with getting KU. As of right now, this is my game plan, although details are subject to change:
- I will make sure DH and I BD every other night from CD 8 - CD 20.
- I will keep taking my meds (prenatal, progesterone).
- I will go see my family doctor for a physical to make sure I am healthy and everything is okay.
- I will keep trying to eat better and exercise so that I know I am doing everything possible to be as healthy as possible.
- I will get a second opinion (not sure if I should find an RE or just talk to another OB) and ask about additional testing.
- I will follow-up with my doctor in three months if I am not KU yet.
I feel okay with this plan, but I just wish that step 5 wasn't necessary. Hopefully I will get some answers!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Back from the Doctor
I had my long-awaited appointment with my OB/GYN today to talk about why I am not KU yet.
The appointment went okay, but it was kind of frustrating too.
My appointment was at 10:50, but I didn’t see the doctor until around 11:40. When she did come in, she seemed kind of rushed. She pulled up my file and said “it looks like the last time you were here, we talked about how you were thinking about starting to try to conceive”. I said no, the last time I was there was when I came in for my first prenatal appointment and instead found out I was having a miscarriage. Apparently she couldn’t find the note from my last visit, so I had to recap everything for her…not fun, especially since she is KU. We went over DH’s semen analysis and my HSG. She confirmed that my HSG looked great, but she said that there were a few abnormalities with the morphology of DH’s sperm (we had originally heard this was normal). Originally, she said that she didn’t think that it was a factor because his sample had so many sperm in it. She asked if DH had any health problems, and when I told her that DH is diabetic she said that could be an issue and pose problems with the sperm that maybe wouldn’t be seen on the analysis. I explained that DH hadn’t monitored his diabetes until recently, but has started making a lot of changes and lost a lot of weight. She thinks that may have contributed to our lack of pregnancy.
She recommended that we expand our FWP to every other day beginning on day 8 and ending on day 20 and to keep closely monitoring DH’s blood sugar and diabetes. I am supposed to call her if I am not pregnant in three more months. At that point, she said she would recommend trying Clomid and IUI.
I just felt frustrated because it seemed like the appointment was rushed and I didn’t get a chance to ask all of my questions. She didn’t seem concerned about the increased ovulation pain that I have had and she said that my mom’s chromosome translocation probably isn’t a factor. Going forward, I guess I have a plan for the next few months, but I just wish I had had more time during the appointment to ask questions. I also thought it seemed a little premature to talk about IUI when we have hardly done any other testing. Would IUI even work if there is some other problem going on? At this point, I am of course hoping that I get KU within the next three cycles, but after that...I don't know. Do I ask for a second opinion? Insist on more testing? It is all so confusing!
The appointment went okay, but it was kind of frustrating too.
My appointment was at 10:50, but I didn’t see the doctor until around 11:40. When she did come in, she seemed kind of rushed. She pulled up my file and said “it looks like the last time you were here, we talked about how you were thinking about starting to try to conceive”. I said no, the last time I was there was when I came in for my first prenatal appointment and instead found out I was having a miscarriage. Apparently she couldn’t find the note from my last visit, so I had to recap everything for her…not fun, especially since she is KU. We went over DH’s semen analysis and my HSG. She confirmed that my HSG looked great, but she said that there were a few abnormalities with the morphology of DH’s sperm (we had originally heard this was normal). Originally, she said that she didn’t think that it was a factor because his sample had so many sperm in it. She asked if DH had any health problems, and when I told her that DH is diabetic she said that could be an issue and pose problems with the sperm that maybe wouldn’t be seen on the analysis. I explained that DH hadn’t monitored his diabetes until recently, but has started making a lot of changes and lost a lot of weight. She thinks that may have contributed to our lack of pregnancy.
She recommended that we expand our FWP to every other day beginning on day 8 and ending on day 20 and to keep closely monitoring DH’s blood sugar and diabetes. I am supposed to call her if I am not pregnant in three more months. At that point, she said she would recommend trying Clomid and IUI.
I just felt frustrated because it seemed like the appointment was rushed and I didn’t get a chance to ask all of my questions. She didn’t seem concerned about the increased ovulation pain that I have had and she said that my mom’s chromosome translocation probably isn’t a factor. Going forward, I guess I have a plan for the next few months, but I just wish I had had more time during the appointment to ask questions. I also thought it seemed a little premature to talk about IUI when we have hardly done any other testing. Would IUI even work if there is some other problem going on? At this point, I am of course hoping that I get KU within the next three cycles, but after that...I don't know. Do I ask for a second opinion? Insist on more testing? It is all so confusing!
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