Wednesday, July 27, 2011


I have been thinking a lot about J's birthmother, K, recently. I don't know if it is because as Jumper's due date draws closer, I have been thinking a lot more about when J was born, but I'm not sure. We haven't heard from K since President's Day weekend. I continue to send her a monthly update and pictures, but I have no clue if she is still reading them. I often wonder how she is she happy? Is she able to spend time with her two children? Did she end up getting married in June like she was planning? Does she ever miss J and wonder what he is doing? Does she ever regret her decision to place him for adoption or wonder what he is like? In some ways, it surprises me that I am the one who misses having contact with K. When we first started the adoption process, I felt nervous about having contact with a birthmother, because I worried that it would make it seem like J wasn't "mine" or that she would interfere with me being his mom. Now, I wish that there was at least a little contact or some sort of closure so that I could share it with J when he gets older.

I will always be so thankful and indebted to K for the decision that she made to choose DH and me as J's family. I love that little boy so much and I can't imagine life without him. It is crazy to think that I ever wondered if I would bond with him or love him as my own, because now it feels like he has always been mine and I can't imagine loving his new sister any differently than I love him. I am such a firm believer in adoption and I truly believe that J was always supposed to be in my family; he just had to come a different way than most kids do. I am so thankful to be J's mother and for the happiness he brings to DH and me!


  1. I am so glad you know that J was always meant to be with you.

    You are getting so close to the end of this pregnancy and getting to hold Jumper. I can't wait to hear about the birth and see pictures of that beautiful little girl!

  2. Thanks for this post. It helps me a lot with my "preadoption" jitters re: birth moms.

  3. Your love for J is so evident! Brought tears to my eyes!!!

  4. I have so many of the same questions about Ellie's birthmom. We never met her and she doesn't want any contact with us or Ellie at this time. We let her know we were open to that someday if she so chose. Who knows what will happen over time.

    I think I wonder so much because I know someday Ellie will have questions and my heart hurts for the pain she will have about this. I just want to make it all better and I know I won't always be able to do that. I'll do my best though you can bet on that!

    I also think Ellie was always supposed to be in our family. Adoption is an amazing journey!

  5. Such a beautiful post!! Your words are so moving :)