Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Oh Brother...

I need to vent for a minute. It is definitely true that adopting a baby eases the pain of not being a mother, but it doesn't take away the pain of IF. I will admit that it has been much easier to deal with the recent rash of pg announcements, but there is still some pain. I for sure still get frustrated when I hear people complain about their pregnancies, whether it is the discomfort, it was unplanned, etc.

This was the case a few minutes ago when I read my friend, B's blog. As a quick reminder, B is the one who had an unplanned pregnancy and has bitched and moaned about it quite a the point where even my fertile friends are annoyed. She is also the one who has been on a "budget" because her husband has been unemployed and she had to work two jobs, yet continued to spend money like crazy (and then complain about not having money). Anyway...back to what I was saying. I saw that B had posted about reaching her due date, but I was shocked about some of the things that I read. She said that she felt bitter about going over her due date, even though she knows it is not uncommon for first time moms to do so. She also talked about how excited she is to go into labor so that she will finally not be pregnant anymore. There were a few other things that she mentioned that just rubbed me the wrong way. I mean, really? I know that I have not experienced pregnancy, and I am sure it is hard and uncomfortable, but I still hate it when people, especially B, complain about it. There are so many women out there who would give anything to be in her position, and she takes it all for granted. How nice would it be to have an accidental pregnancy without ever trying to get KU?

Now I am sure that the complaining will go from being about her pregnancy to about how hard it is to have a newborn baby...


  1. I am so sorry about B. She is sure being a "B" about such a great miracle. I still get upset also when people complain about getting pregnant, or about how difficult their pregnancy is. It comes from standing on a different side of the prism to understand how lucky they really are.


    By the way, I have not forgotten about the gift for J. I have just been busy. I got a job and I have limited time now to shop. I will get it done soon.

  2. It really is hard to hear complaints coming from our position. My pregnancy (finally!) Has been difficult, and I haven't complained per se, but I have been vocal about the difficulties. HOWEVER, I say it with a smile, grateful to be where I am. Or I joke about it. Because I know how lucky I am. I have tried specifically NOT to complain, and I always worry it will sound like I am. It IS hard, but glorious. No one said it would be easy! All babies are miracles, and anyone who takes it for granted...sigh. can you imagine being able to take it for granted???? Not so much. With the options available for people who have unplanned pregnancies, and the options to prevent them, I feel like saying to gripers, well, you had a choice. Some of us don't have that option. So stuff it, right? Hang in there!

  3. I would take on all the horrible effects of being pregnant; morning sickness, numbness, queasy...ANY of them to experience the ultimate gift of pregnancy. It infuriates me when people receive that gift so easily and don't even see it as a gift. So frustrating, especially when there are people like us who would give anything to experience that!

    I'm sorry B is not so thoughtful. I work with a woman who complained that she had a daughter because she'd have to have another pregnancy because her husband wants a son. It took everything for me to be appropriate. I just steered clear of her for awhile.

    I'm sorry people are so self-centered! Thinking of you!