On Friday and Saturday, DH and I went to the Families Supporting Adoption (FSA) Conference. We had to go to it in order to get our education requirements for our adoption approval. The conference had a ton of different classes that were targeted towards different groups that are affected by adoption (i.e. birth moms and their families, adoptive couples, etc).
The conference was good, but it was SO overwhelming. There was so much information that was presented in the classes, to the point that it started giving me some anxiety. I think that it just made me realize that this is really happening and that I could be a mom - soon. It made me think more about than just the "fun" parts of being a mom and the excitement about having a baby. It also brought out a lot of feelings that I had suppressed or thought that maybe I had moved passed. I honestly started to feel so anxious...I started questioning our decision, then I even started questioning whether we are ready to be parents. Crazy, right? I think it just made me realize that something I have been wanting for so long could actually happen.
One of my favorite classes was one where there were there was a panel of birth moms and they talked about what they wished their adoptive couples knew. It was interesting to learn more about birth moms and it helped me see them in a better light. It also made me start looking forward to developing a relationship with one, although I think that it surprised DH because he didn't realize how involved they might be.
So, the long and short of the conference is that even though it honestly freaked me out, I think it was still good. I think that it brought up some emotions that I should probably deal with. Also, even though I am feeling a little freaked out, I still feel like this is the right thing for us. I think that once things get moving (i.e. we get a match and eventually a baby) it will help some of my anxiety resolve.