Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Spreading the News

DH and I have slowly started spreading the news. I still want to keep it pretty quiet, but since we have seen a heartbeat, DH isn't too concerned about keeping it to ourselves.

Prior to my ultrasound, I told my two closest friends and my boss. I told my friends so that I would have someone IRL to talk to in case things didn't go well, and I told my boss in case I needed to take a few more days off of work, even though I was just barely back from my maternity leave. I told everyone to keep it quiet, with the exception of my friends being able to tell their husbands. I had also told my sister that is living with us, since that would have been kind of hard to keep quiet.

Anyway, the day after our u/s, my FIL came over to bring us dinner and play with J. We had our u/s picture hanging up on the magnet board, and I forgot to take it down before he came over. He didn't notice it up there, so DH asked me if it would be okay to tell his dad since he was already over there. I agreed, so now my FIL and his wife know...they are both super excited and have agreed to not tell anyone else. I figure that since my FIL knows, my parents and my MIL have a right to know as well. After all, if I had a m/c at this point, we would tell them anyway, right? It is my mom's 50th birthday this week, so we plan to tell her when we get together to celebrate her birthday. We also have a family dinner on Sunday with my MIL, so I think we will tell her then. At that point, I will be at 8 is earlier than I was originally planning to share, but I think I am okay with it.

However, I have one SIL just had a m/c last week. Both of my SIL announced that they were pg on Christmas: one is with her second baby, and the other is an oops pg with her boyfriend. It is the SIL with the oops pg who had the m/c. She has said that she knows it is for the best because she wasn't ready to care for a baby and was actually considering adoption, but I know it is still hard on her. Our due dates would have been within days of each other, so I want to be empathetic to her feelings and not make her feel worse.

As for telling friends...DH and I spend a lot of time with a group of friends, which consists of four other couples. Two couples had babies last year after getting KU really easily, one couple has been TTC for almost 2 years (has yet to go to the Dr. to find out what is going on), and the other couple just found out they are having twins. So right now, there is just the one couple that doesn't have kids or have a baby on the way. Two of the couples were the ones that I had told about being pg prior to the u/s. When we were hanging out with our friends over the weekend, one of the guys accidentally outed us to one of the couples that didn't know. So, the only other couple in our group of friends that doesn't know is the one that has been having a hard time TTC. I have been really reluctant to tell her (C), because I have a feeling that she is going to take it really hard. She still hasn't really started talking to me again since we adopted J. I feel like I need to tell her so that she doesn't feel bad for being the only one that doesn't know, but I am just worried how she will take the news. I don't necessarily want to wait until I am in my second trimester, only for her to find out that everyone else knew weeks ago. I think it is better to just get it over with; I would want to know if the situation were reversed. I can understand how hard it is to be in that situation, but at the same time, we all get frustrated with her because she won't go to the doctor.

Anyway, I think that is all that is new with me right now. I am still feeling the first tri symptoms, but in a way, they are reassuring to me. Baby J is doing great - I will need to post some updated pictures - and I love being able to spend time with him.


  1. It might be a good idea to talk to you SIL before an official announcement, just out of sensitivity for what she went through.

    Good luck and let us know how the big reveal goes!

  2. It sounds like you are making a great effort to make things not hurt as much as you can.

    YEA to 8 weeks. It is very reassuring to have all of the symptoms.


  3. I am so excited for you. I was very reluctant to spread the news personally, but once I did come out it made me feel good so many people were happy for me, if you know what I mean? I agree with Kelly and would also say maybe tell C quietly if she is a good friend? As well as calling your SIL maybe.
    Can't wait to see new pics of J!