I am just going to warn you in advance that this post might be a little whiny...
Earlier this week, I decided to post on our family blog about how, after struggling with IF, DH and I had decided to adopt. I put in a brief explanation of what had led us to this decision (i.e. the chromosome problem), how I would be changing our blog to make it more available to prospective birth parents, and then just basically said that IF is a sensitive subject - feel free to ask questions, etc., but try to be sensitive/respectful. So far...I have received a total of ZERO comments for this post. I don't know what I was expecting - I guess maybe just a "congratulations" or a "thanks for letting me know that your blog address is changing"...maybe it is too early and I probably shouldn't even care, but I will admit that I was a bit disappointed. It makes me wonder if this subject is just too awkward for people to handle, especially if they have never had problems with IF and conceived really easily. I felt like I was really putting myself out there by sharing this personal information about our lives. It really made me grateful that I have this blog to write my feelings and that it has always been such a good place for me to get help and support. So, THANK YOU!!!
Tomorrow, I am co-hosting a baby shower for my friend, L. It is kind of bittersweet. I am really happy for her and I am glad that she has had such a smooth pregnancy, but it is also a sad reminder of what I am still lacking. Her baby is due right around when ours would have been born last year, and I am seriously worried that her baby will be born on our due date. I am hoping that I will be so busy doing stuff for the shower tomorrow that I won't be able to dwell on any of the "what ifs?" and "why mes?".
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I hope that tomorrow is filled with your being too busy to think about all of those things, too.
ReplyDeleteYou know what? You were gutsy for posting that. If you wonder why you haven't received any comments, why not post again and ask just that?
I don't really know how supportive your family normally is, so I don't really know what to say on that particular topic. I believe my family would behave the same way. On our family blog, they hardly leave comments as it is. But that's just the type of people that they are. They don't "trust" the internet. So maybe that's what your family is thinking ??? *shrug*
ReplyDeleteGood luck tmr with the baby shower! Hosting something like that has got to be excruciating! *hugs*
When I started my IF blog I sent the link to family and close friends figuring if they wanted to be updated this would be an easy way. A couple friends occasionally check it and ZERO family. Which is probably good now that I've really let out some things on there they probably don't want to know....but yeah....I was disappointed as well. I think that outsiders don't know what to say, and are uncomfortable with anything that's not hunky dorey. And so they just basically avoid it. We certainly are never asked by family how that aspect of our life is going. Friends do, but not family. Makes me want to shut them out sometimes. I'm so sorry they aren't being there for you as much as you would like. But we are!!! HUGS
ReplyDeleteDuring our process with adoption I decided that it didn't and still doesn't matter what anyone else thinks! They ONLY get to adjust! Don't worry and just do what is best for you and your family. That's all that matters! I love you guys and we support you 100% in ALL of this!
ReplyDeleteMy friends and family have been excited since we announced our plans... but I still don't think they totally understand the whole situation. I still hear a lot of "just watch, you'll be pregnant as soon as you adopt!" Almost as if they think I'm adopting just so that it will cause some magical pregnancy.
ReplyDeleteI hear you about the support....I actually started my blog so that I wouldnt have to call or text everytime something happened because I would get alot of quick not thought through comments from people like they forgot we are real people going through a situation....example say if I texted no HB another miscarriage....I would get dumb text like now what or when is the D&E? Instead of people feeling the real emotion and situation at hand so I decided to create my blog...and if you want to know and be part of going on then read it and if not thats fine too...of course I still talk to people via phone or text but it really helps so that Im not so overwhelmed and constanly repeating myself...but I will say that I have a certain family member who has email access and is younger so def computer friendly who would still text me to ask whats going on or send me random comments via text like glad to see things are going well when they werent and to be honest I was mad....but then I just had to forget it...I just dont think people really understand what it is like to go through this process.....and its just hard for people to know what to do or say because of their lack of knowledge....I too am so thankful for the community support on the blogs....it helps me so much...Take care:)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry your friends/family weren't more supportive. I'm sure they all are rooting for you, but finding the words can be hard. ((HUGS)) Good luck with the shower this week.
ReplyDeleteAdoption is such a big decision and so exciting. You really hope that people will understand it is the same excitment as expecting through pregnancy. Unfortunately people don't usu. know what to say.
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