Last night, we went to family dinner at my MIL's house. As much as I enjoy spending time with the family, I always dread it a little bit because it seems like the biggest topic of conversation is always babies. There is only one grandchild on that side of the family, and don't get me wrong - I love my niece - but sometimes it would be nice to talk about something else. Anyway, of course the adoption came up and people were asking DH and me if we had heard anything yet. We said no, and then my MIL proceeded to question us. This is how the conversation went:
MIL: Have you guys considered getting a baby from another country?
Us: Yes, but it is much more expensive and the wait can be much longer. We felt like domestic adoption was the best route for us.
MIL: But there are so many orphans. Why can't you just go to a country and pick out a baby?
Us: Well, it isn't that easy. There is a lot of red tape to go through with both our country and the country where the baby comes from.
MIL: Well, it seems like you should just be able to go pick out a baby and then pay a lawyer to do the adoption.
Us: Unfortunately, it just doesn't work that way. It's not that simple. Some people wait years to adopt a baby from another country, and it just depends on that country's rules.
MIL: When C and J (her sister and BIL) adopted a baby from Columbia, they just went there and got him, and I know it wasn't that expensive. I realize that was a long time ago, and he was 18 months old when they got him, but still.
Us: Most children that are adopted from other countries are not adopted as new babies.
MIL: Well, I bet that D (her brother who lived in Columbia) could call up his friend in Columbia and have him watch for a baby for you. And then you could adopt that baby and not have to keep waiting.
Us: Unfortunately, it just isn't usually that simple. There is much more to it than going to another country and just picking up a baby.
MIL: What other options do you have to get a baby faster?
Us: We could have chosen another agency that has faster placement times, but the fees would have been double or triple what we are paying with ours.
MIL: We can just have a bake sale and raise the money that you need to get a baby faster.
This conversation continued for a little while. I think that my MIL was still convinced that all she needed to do was have her brother call his friend in Columbia and it would be that easy for us to get a baby. I know that she is just excited for us and excited to have a grandchild, but sometimes it is a little much. It would be nice to sometimes talk about other things besides babies...after all, DH and I are still people who still have other interests and lives outside of adoption!