A few days ago, I e-mailed DH's cousin, E, to ask her about adoption. E and her husband have adopted two of their four kids, so we felt confident that they would be able to give us some insight. She answered some of our questions via e-mail, but we decided that it would be better if we got together to talk in person. Last night, we went to a big family party to celebrate DH's grandpa's 80th birthday, so it ended up being the perfect opportunity to get together and talk with them.
E and her husband, D, were great. They answered so many of our questions and were so nice to share their experiences with us. E said that she had really wanted to know what to say to us, and so she prayed about it. That meant a lot to DH and me. She said what she felt impressed to say was basically that adoption is not settling or getting second best. When you adopt, it is every bit as good as having a biological child and that you are truly getting the children that are supposed to be in your family. Her comments really were just I needed to hear, and I almost wondered if that was God's way of telling me that this is the route we will/should go. My biggest concerns have been feeling like I am giving up a dream of being pg and having biological children. And who is to say that I won't ever get to experience pg? Maybe it isn't just time yet?
On our way home, DH and I talked about what E and D had said. We still want to wait to make a decision until we meet with the counselor, but we both felt more comfortable with the adoption option. I know that my emotions are subject to change at any day/time (especially lately), but I keep feeling like I am leaning closer and closer to adoption. It is like I am almost just planning on it unless the counselor and doctor come back to us with amazing news.