I feel like I am doing pretty well. I was feeling a bit down on myself this morning - maybe because, against my better judgement, I decided to POAS and I got a BFN. Or maybe because at church we sat behind a baby that would have been the same age as mine if it weren't for the m/c. Or maybe because there always seems to be so many women in our church who have new babies or are KU. Whatever the reason, I was having a hard time with things.
BUT...I didn't want to let myself melt down to a puddle of despair. I remembered that right now, all I am doing all that I can to eventually be a mom. The rest is out of my control. I have a friend who is serving a mission for our church right now, and she recently sent me a letter. At the bottom of the letter, she included a scripture reference. The scripture says: "Therefore, dearly beloved brethern, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power, and then we may stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed". I am sure that when this scripture was written or when my friend sent me this letter, it was never thought that this would help someone with IF, but it has helped me. As I mentioned in previous posts, I am trying really hard to be more optimistic and happy. So, maybe if I am cheerfully doing all that I can, I just need to learn to rely on God to help with the rest. I am not saying that it is God's will that I don't have kids or that I am going through IF. What I am saying is that I think that if I am doing all that I can and trying to have the best attitude possible, then everything is going to turn out okay in the end. Maybe I won't be a mom as quickly as I would like to be, but everything will turn out all right.
On a different note, I have been thinking a lot about adoption lately. Maybe that seems strange, seeing as how I have yet to even take a single dose of Clomid or experience my first IUI. But, I feel really peaceful when I think about adoption. I am not quite sure how to bring it up to DH yet. We have talked about it before briefly, and he has said that he isn't ready to throw in the towel on having biological kids. I am not saying that I want to stop TTC a biological child, but I do feel like maybe this is something we could start looking into. Has anyone else had experience with this? What was your experience? How did your husband respond?