Thursday, March 4, 2010

Trying to be Optomistic

I am trying really hard to keep my hopes up. DH keeps reminding me that I have a much greater chance of NOT being a carrier of the translocation than I do of being affected by it. And even if I do have it, my mom was able to have five kids without any special interventions, so it isn't like having kids would be out of the picture for us. I guess I just feel really discouraged. I feel like being a mom and having children just keeps getting pushed back. I used to always think to myself "By this time next year, I will for sure be a mom or at least will be KU". Now I don't feel like I can say that anymore.

DH has been so supportive. He is helping me keep everything in perspective. It has been so amazing to watch DH transform over the past year and a half. He has gone from being ready for kids to REALLY wanting a baby. It has helped me to have him be so involved and hopeful. I just have to keep telling myself that I still have plenty of reasons to be hopeful. I will be a mom someday, but maybe just not on my timetable or how I would have liked it to happen.

An update with the chromosome testing...I am still waiting to hear if it will be covered by my insurance. Before the insurance would say if it was covered, they needed another code from my doctor. The doctor's office ended up referring the case to a genetic counselor who works for a hospital that is very closely associated with my insurance. They said that she would be able to get the paperwork to go through, so we'll see what happens.

Oh...and the pg test was negative. Today is CD1.


  1. Sorry about it being CD1. :-( It sounds like you have a great husband to support you, but it's still so hard to have no control over when you will become a mom. That's been so hard for me, not only do i not know if I'll become a mom, but if I'm ever successful, will I ever be able to give my child a sibling?

    Hoping that insurance covers the test.

  2. I'm sorry life is throwing things at you, but it's so helpful to have a supportive DH! I really hope things work out for you and you get to be a mommy very soon. Yuck to CD1, but yay to another month to hope!

    Btw, I have resent your Secret Pal info! Let me know if it still doesn't come through.